Helen Harray, 1 July 2014

Paul had laboured to build the Philippian church for 11 years. Now he’s been in prison for 4 years and he is writing this letter so that Epaphroditus whom they had sent to bring a gift to him, could return with it. Paul points out in the letter that they were the only church to support him – they had given him aid more than once – and he rejoices because he is amply supplied with the gifts they had sent along with Epaphroditus.
But he doesn’t thank them! Isn’t that interesting? He doesn’t outrightly thank them. How rude! Our Mums always told us to say thanks.
But wait, hold your judgment because in the Greco-Roman world the giving and receiving of gifts and services was loaded with social expectations and assumptions. Giving was a way in which you acquired honour and put others in your debt. To acknowledge a gift meant you would have to give something in return.
In Philippians, Paul puts giving into a new framework. It is not for our advantage or honour but for the benefit of others. It is to be driven by a superabundance of love and to imitate the sacrificial attitude of Jesus. If the money given is a sacrifice to God we act primarily toward God and not the receiver, and so no one should feel in our debt or like they have to account for it. Paul expresses joy and commends the Philippians for their giving because they ‘think, feel and act’ with a Christ-like disposition as he has been urging them throughout the epistle.
"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

Helen Harray, 24 June 2014

When your mind goes over and over something, around and around and can’t get out of the rut, over processing, reliving, examining and not letting go. I think this is post traumatic stress on the lower end of the continuum. You may not have had a dramatic trauma such as being in a war, accident or earthquake for which you are diagnosed with PTSD, an extreme end of the continuum, but you may well have had significant interruption to normal functioning as a child which expresses itself in very similar patterns on a lower end of the continuum, but just as debilitating. You may not have survived combat, but you ‘survived’ childhood and now have the same kinds of disturbances.

I don’t like being told off. Well who does!! But my childish response to this was to vow to be ‘good’ and never put myself into a position in which I felt ashamed and would have to say sorry. This set up the rather unhealthy dynamic of having to be super aware, super organized and to guard reactions and emotions all the time. It’s tiring. We might think this just gets better as we grow up but very often it does not. The inner child is just as wounded as the day it happened, until the memories are faced and resolved.
I do believe that present conflicts that often produce ‘over-reactions’ in us are an invitation to look behind the stirred emotions and see what unresolved things are being triggered. So instead of just being angry with the person and trying to justify my responses, or feel powerless and doing nothing, we can learn a better way.
When someone telling me off recently set off my PTS processing pattern again, I faced the memories of my mother being constantly angry with me. As I allowed Jesus into them, the truth and insight he brought renewed my mind and the love he communicated restored my soul. I took responsibility to repent and break the power of the inner vows that set up a core belief pattern…in this case: to be good and to avoid situations where I will have to apologise. And so I could even rejoice in the current situation which had enabled me to grow.

Why do I think this is sooo important? Here’s a couple of good reasons.
1. These unresolved traumatic memories create blockages which hinder us from perceiving the Lord’s presence and connecting with him more intimately and they cause us unnecessary angst as we process over and over.
2. And as we age, the frontal lobes of our brain are especially affected and the defenses with which we used to manage and hide our unresolved issues are progressively weakened. As this happens we become more reactive and dysfunctional. After 50 years of minimally impaired functioning, but subtle evidence of trauma, war veterans may suddenly get full blown PTSD and as dementia erodes the strength of their psychological coping tools their woundedness and dysfunctional ways of being are then barred and exposed. The elderly who have spent their life cleansing and maturing their minds and spirits on the other hand are an inspiration. (Dr K.Lehman Outsmarting Yourself, 2013)
The short summary of this is that as we age we may increasingly walk around in our psychological and spiritual underwear. For good or not.

Helen Harray, 17 June 2014

Yeh, nah- not possible. But Helen you say isn’t that what Paul is saying in Philippians 3: 13: forgetting the past and
straining forward toward what is ahead…I press on. Can’t I just move on? Well maybe, but it’s clear that he has not forgotten his past! Is that really possible? Just read the first verses of chapter 3 as he describes his pedigree and what he did as a zealous crusader for the Jewish Law. The difference now is that he is able to be honest about his past from a new perspective and he does not allow it to encumber him as he strives for what lies ahead. He has a whole new way of thinking about the past and of living in the present, looking forward to the future from the perspective of being ‘found in Christ.’
Pressing on is hugely important but not always possible if the past has not been reframed and healed. Ever wondered why you go around the mountain repeating the same mistakes and reliving the same old feelings and wondering why this God-thing Paul talks about so enthusiastically doesn’t work for you? Groundhog Days over and over.
Well the simple truth is, just like you can’t fix your own teeth, you need someone to teach you the skills of extracting the misbeliefs and conclusions you have come to as a result of past relationships and incidents and then holding a space for Jesus to meet with you. And when through the presence and truth of Christ bringing insight to the ‘little person’ the past is reframed and healed, it loses its potency to drive us. We then remember without the pain and we can start to go forward finding joy in Christ in a whole new way. There are several in this congregation who can help hold this space for you. But it may mean not shoving the problem down any longer and being vulnerable to trust a friend in Christ.

Helen Harray, 12 June 2014

"Being in a community together helps us to grow – both individually and as a group." LV Vision Statement.
Philippians is a book about friendship. It’s a letter written to friends. In it Paul helps us think about what friendships in Christ are made of – how we help each other work out our relationship to God and be true friends to each other. In Christ we learn to develop a different sort of human community, one that is rooted in seeking the benefit of others, mirroring Jesus who took on the nature of a servant to benefit us (2: 1-11).
But it’s a tall order! Especially when I am confronted with a person I don’t like or have nothing in common with. And did you know that Christians don’t get to choose their friends! Unlike other communities, in a church the people sitting around you are not always the ones you would normally associate with. And it’s supposed to be like this. We aren’t supposed to make up a homogenous community, but we are to learn how to be friends who love each other deeply.
Jews and Gentiles were as unlike each other as any group could be but a friendship was forged across that gaping chasm in the 1st century. Jew, Paul and the Gentile Christians were all working it out together in Philippi. True Christian friendships are bound up in a common friendship with Christ, a baptism and they are characterized by such things as forgiveness and reconciliation, valuing others above ourselves, telling the truth and stimulating one another to love and good deeds, yearning for unity and doing life together differently to the surrounding culture.
Let’s face it, it’s easy to be independent, isolated individuals in the church, attending but maybe not really participating. If Philippians says anything at all to us, it says: The way you do your life together as a community of diverse individuals in Christ is supposed to be as a star witness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
• What’s your notion of responsibility to this community in Christ?

Helen Harray, 6 June 2014

One of the underlying themes in the book of Philippians is joy. It’s mentioned 16 times in 4 chapters. It set me wondering how often I experience joy and what causes it. I know it’s not an emotion that you can construct like doing things that make you feel happy. Rather it’s a byproduct of something else.
Paul actually highlights this in the opening verses: I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the Gospel. Joy is the byproduct of the proper working of Christian friendships or partnerships.
Quite simply, the emotional experience of joy comes when we perceive that someone is glad to be with us and vice versa. When an infant sees a mother’s smiling, glad face this causes the infant’s brain to release high levels of endorphins and this intensely positive experience repeated many times, builds the joy foundation in a person’s life. Over life we add to this bank of attuned, ‘I’m glad to be with you’ experiences whenever we look at someone’s face and see the sparkle in their eyes that tells you they like you and are glad to see you. Our joyful response is an involuntary emotion that wells up inside and you feel glad to be alive and with this person. This relational joy is not the same thing as pleasure, fun or happiness, though these things can enrich it. Pleasure can be pursued for its own sake, joy cannot.
Joy in relationship to God follows a similar pattern to human relationships and is built through regular interactive encounters with Jesus and the Father’s love. When we pursue intimacy with God, we will find joy will bubble up.
Of course we can lose relational connection joy for all sorts of reasons. Or we may feel we missed out on that basic foundation from our parents (though I believe with help this can be restored). Today is an opportunity to reflect on where joy reveals itself in your life or where it is blocked and to wonder how your life brings joy to others.

Helen Harray, 23 May 2014

APPRECIATIONS

It’s a good practice to recount the things you are grateful for everyday. Over time this creates a positive, spiritual momentum and sense of well being in your life. An attitude of gratitude will help you focus on the goodness of God and the power of His Kingdom, rather than the seeming impasse you might be facing.
The same applies in relationships: When you feel out of sorts with yourself and God and others you are in ‘non-relational’ mode, disconnected, grumpy. Maybe you came home with an expectation of welcome, meal cooked or of being able to relax, but something bumps up against that and it all goes pear-shaped. Possibly the last thing you feel like doing is appreciating anyone.
But when you deliberately and regularly focus on and say the things you appreciate about your spouse or your child or your flatmate… you may be able to get yourself back online.
Appreciation actually comes from acts of kindness, service, generosity… that are “small,” but that have an overall effect that accumulates with thousands of repetitions. For example, Wayne takes care of our accounts. This would not be a big deal if it happened once, but when I think about how he does this week in and week out, I can feel some serious gratitude. Recently Wayne and I began a practice of ending the day, a few times a week with 5 specific things we appreciate about each other, naming positive memories we have had and naming the consistent little things the other person does. It’s okay to appreciate the same thing more than once.
You can tell when appreciation, both giving and receiving, is working because we feel better about life, it releases chemicals in the brain. The more effectively we succeed in deliberate appreciation the more robust our subjective feeling of gratitude will be, and the more robust our gratitude, the more solid our return to relational mode. i.e. feeling a sense of well being and connection to God, myself and others.

Helen Harray, 20 May 2014

Relationship, relationship, relationship
'Whanaungatanga' is the Maori word and concept for relationship. It means a sense of family connection - a relationship through shared experiences and working together which provides a sense of belonging. How’s your relationship with the Father? With the Son? With te Wairua Tapu? Tapu means holy. I sometimes wonder whether my relationship with God is very holy, whether it lacks a sense of the sacred ground I walk on when I come into the presence of God. All too often the ground is crowded with words like…work, busy, busy, stress, tired. I’m there in body sort of but ‘wired’ when it comes to spirit and soul. In fact my spirit can be like dry bones, no longer connected with flesh, parched and dry for lack of God’s binding me up and giving me wholeness.
But I have discovered that when I actually stop God has a chance to speak and recreate me, breathe new life into me. And I have a chance to hear stuff that was just static before. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child my soul is content within me. (Psalm 131:2)
'Soaking' is the new century word for getting with God and letting Him refresh and fill you up again. John called it ‘abiding’ in Christ. Paul prayed in Ephesians that we would be ‘rooted and established in love, having the power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.’ This is God loving us in a way that surpasses knowledge and results in His pulling together our fractured minds and disconnected beings into deep relationship with Him. If we put a dry sponge into a bucket of water, the sponge will slowly expand as the water permeates the interior. This is what we experience as we soak in God's presence. The more we soak, the more we become filled with His Spirit, and the self is put into perspective. Soaking is both a passive being in God’s presence and an active waiting, a mind and heart opened to intently gazing on the the Holy Three. In this position He can sanctify us and help us be more like Him. Sometimes it takes a shipwreck to find relationship again.
I discovered numerous resources on the net to help me pause and rest. I offer them to you as a way to get into His presence and wait patiently for Him. Google: Julie True for numerous U tubes of this kind of prayer or download her music onto your phone or Ipod from I Tunes. Another good resource is: Decrees Inspired by the Psalms by Elizabeth Nixon & Jonathon Williams from I Tunes. There is a wealth of instrumental music out there as well. May this bring you joy.

Helen Harray, 13 May 2014

One of the most significant things you might actually do to progress your relationship with God is to ‘do nothing’. Sounds really strange and almost incomprehensible doesn’t it? We all work hard almost every single day in a variety of ways and probably most of us feel like we never ever get everything done and we are just tired in all sorts of ways. But we are designed to routinely do nothing, to ‘sabbath’. Research has uncovered that our heartbeat, blood pressure, body temperature and more rise and fall in seven-day patterns. But all of these weekly conditions are dependent on a restful period of time. Our bodies and our brains need rest on a weekly basis in order to operate at their maximum capacity. We can “Sabbath” one day a week and for short times every day. Routinely doing nothing is the way to be in harmony with our natural design. Give yourself permission!!Resting, really resting is also productive. In fact it increases output and creativity. Scientists at the University of California discovered that when rats experience something new, their brains show new patterns of activity. Yet, it’s only when rats take a break from exploring that they process those new patterns and create a persistent memory of the experience. Loren Frank, one of the testing scientists, comments, “Almost certainly, downtime lets the brain go over experiences it’s had, solidify them, and turn them into permanent long-term memories. And when the brain was constantly stimulated, you prevent this learning process.”I encourage you to ‘do nothing’ on a regular basis.

Richard Dawson, 1 April 2014

Hope 2014; It’s been 200 years since Samuel Marsden first preached the Gospel on these shores. Marsden was a remarkable man despite his rather fearsome reputation. He laid virtually everything on the line to bring the Gospel to the Tangata Whenua of Aotearoa. Born in 1765 Marsden was recruited by evangelical Anglicans who trained him and who oversaw his rise to be assistant chaplain of the new colony of New South Wales. Whilst engaged in the work Marsden became interested in the Maori people some of whom visited and stayed with him in Sydney. So he returned to London set on establishing a Mission station and team in New Zealand. He left London in 1809 but was greatly frustrated by a lack of cooperation from his head office who would not give him permission to go on to New Zealand once he’d arrived in Australia. In February 1814 facing further delay he bought his own ship the Active for £1400 (a huge sum in those days) and still he wasn’t able to leave till December of that year. On Christmas Day Marsden led off with the Old Hundredth (Psalm 100) and then preached from Luke 2:10 – 'behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy' – to a large, well-drilled congregation. Ruatara translated for him. It was a message born of a passion to see another people introduced to the love and grace of Jesus Christ and it arrived on the back of an amazing sacrifice of this man. Have we got that same passion and hope that the gospel might change someone else? O that we might desire it as Marsden did!

Richard Dawson, 5 February 2014

What makes you feel welcome in a place? What makes you feel like coming back? My parents had friends in Auckland who we visited almost every year. They were interesting friends and I got on with their children well but what really sticks in my memory about those friends is the outright passion with which the wife, in particular, greeted me when we would arrive after usually a very long drive. She would usually burst out of the front door, her face a picture of joy and enthusiasm, smiling as if we’d turned up with her lotto winnings and smother me with a big hug saying something like ‘O Richard you’ve grown so much since last year!’ Finally there would be a sloppy kiss on the side of the face and then she’d move on to the next family victim… sorry, member! I thought I hated this. I thought I really didn’t want this but actually, it allowed us to relax in her presence and in her house. The message we got was—all this is yours. Be at home! Go anywhere you want. Do what you want. Our house is your house. And, we did! In the faith we can say with even more conviction ‘Our house is your house. All that God has given us, is yours too if you want it!’ But do we? More to the point ‘How do we?’ Perhaps our greatest weakness is how we first interact with people who are visitors to our shores—those who walk through the doors for the first time putting a first tentative toe into the waters of our Christian community. Do they feel as if we really want them there; as if we are happy to see them; as if we are thrilled with their presence? Jesus is thrilled to have us in the kingdom. Can we be thrilled to welcome others?